ARIES March 21 - April 19
	A loudmouth moon has you telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. “I admit it. I have a Harry Potter problem. That Daniel Radcliffe is a total hottie! So what if he’s only 18.” It’s time to come clean about stuff you’ve been trying to hide. “Yes, I did treat the office receptionist to lunch, but it was just a platonic thing. No tongues were involved.” “Okay, so I’ve been buying vintage Charlie’s Angels lunchboxes off eBay. Wanna make something of it?”
	TAURUS April 20 - May 20
	Like Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria marrying basketball star Tony Parker, you’re ready to get cozy with somebody for the long term. Venus is inspiring you to make room in your medicine cabinet for your honey’s toothbrush. Or you’ll promise to date your sweetheart exclusively (until your sexy ex comes calling in the middle of the night.) At the very least, you’ll vow to keep an open mind about becoming a coparent to Mr. Fuzzywig, your girlfriend’s flatulent tabby cat.
	GEMINI May 21 - June 21
	Nicole Richie was supposed to start her DUI trial July 11th but her lawyer managed to get a postponement. She’s wondering whether she’ll have to go to jail like her buddy Paris. You could be freaking out, too, as the moon kicks up some melodrama. The living by-product of that sperm donation you made back in college might show up on your door-step, demanding lunch money. (“Hi, Daddy!”) A former flame could post videos of your sexual escapades on YouTube. The plot thickens.
	CANCER June 22 - July 22
	You’re in a disciplined and focused state of mind, thanks to clear-headed Mercury. Like tennis ace Venus Williams, you’re at the top of your game. Venus just won her fourth Wimbledon singles title. Before the match some people had written her off, but she proved that she’s still got what it takes to be a winner. That’s what you need to do this week. So you’re twenty pounds overweight, sadly single, and wondering where your career is going. You and Jessica Simpson should have a talk.
	LEO July 23 - August 22
	As the sun enters your sign, you’re wondering what you really want to be when you grow up. Britney’s recent lip synching performances failed to wow audiences, and now she fears that her recording career is in the crapper. And Avril Lavigne is being sued for copyright infringement because her hit “Girlfriend” sounds like the 70’s song from The Rubinoos called “I Wanna to be Your Boyfriend.” It could be time for you to change careers. If you really want to become an Olympic ice dancer, a professional cheerleader, or a lemur breeder, go for it.
	VIRGO August 23 - September 22
	You were psyched when you heard that Rapper Nelly finally proposed to his R&B girlfriend Ashanti. But then Nelly said that was just a rumor. Still, you’re in the mood to make your own romantic gesture. Venus is urging you to shell out big bucks for an engagement ring. Or splurge on an Angus steak burger for your honey the next time you hit a Burger King. Okay, so you’re a stingy Earth sign. At least you mean well.
	LIBRA September 23 - October 22
	Hulk Hogan’s daughter Brooke has been sporting a very, um, curvaceous figure of late. Whether the new breasts are a byproduct of late puberty or surgery, she’s looking fine. Like Brooke, you’re feeling good about your body and comfortable in your own shoes. That’s the second quarter moon talking. Nobody can knock you down, because your confidence is higher than it has been in months. Deadwood star Leon Rippy plays an angel in the new TNT series Saving Grace, and you’re in high and mighty mode, too.
	SCORPIO October 23 - November 21
	Kate Beckinsale says she regrets telling a magazine that she struggled with anorexia as a teen because now everybody asks her about it. But unlike Kate, you’ve got nothing to hide. Communicator Mercury is out of retrograde, putting you in a bold, tongue-flappin’ mood. “I confess. I once ate an entire bag of marshmallows while watching Law and Order reruns.” “One time when I was young and stupid, I confused Bo Derek for Bo Diddley.” Oh, the scandal!
	SAGITTARIUS November 22 - December 21
	Diddy and his girlfriend Kim Porter have officially broken up. Kim gave birth to his baby twin daughters not long ago. And cooking show host Rachel Ray is alleged to be on the verge of a split from her hubby of two years amidst rumors that he paid a woman for various sexual favors. A hard-headed Saturn is urging you to get tough and prevent your own heart from being broken. It’s okay to love, just don’t be a fool for love.
	CAPRICORN December 22 - January 19
	Denise Richards says she wishes former hubby Charlie Sheen and his fiancée all the happiness in the world. You shouldn’t sweat your past flings, either. Venus is urging you to focus on the future. So you eloped to Vegas with Georgio the pool boy. Or you had a rendezvous with porn star Jenna Jameson. Louisiana Senator David Vitter apologized for "a very serious sin in my past" after his telephone number appeared in the records of an escort service operated by the "D.C. Madam." Act like you’re sorry, invest in a publicist, and the world will forgive you.
	AQUARIUS January 20 - February 18
	Electronics giant Motorola was hit hard by the recent launch of the iPhone, and the company is laying off some 7500 people. And opera legend Luciano Pavarotti is said to be “fighting like a lion” as he receives treatment for pancreatic cancer. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Neptune is encouraging you to take the bull by the horns and face some tough facts. If you don’t break up with your spendthrift boyfriend, your credit rating will remain in negative numbers.
	PISCES February 19 - March 20
	“The Lohan family’s not weird or dysfunctional, even though most of them have been in rehab. They’re just charmingly eccentric.” “So Smith and Hawken plans to open more stores throughout the U.S. That’s great! I love spending $90 on a couple of tulip bulbs for my garden.” You’re in such an easy-going mood, people might accuse you of downing a Prozac, Zoloft and Paxil cocktail. Remember: just say no to drugs.